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Fuck Life

I feel so alone, I’ve been home less then a week and I’m ready to leave and never come back. To be honest I flat out hate my family, not one of them cares about anything I do. I great grade in college so far way better then the two of them combined ever had and yet they could care less. Maybe they are jealous that so far I have surpassed them at everything and have way more talent then there weed filled brains can comprehend. They only seem to care if my sister is at all displaced by my being, I don’t want to live here. I have applied to six places so far and have heard nothing back from any of them, so the chance of me being able to move out are zero.. I hate my home life, and there is no one that can save me from being here. My only real friends are in different countries or far away cities. My boyfriends has barely spoken to me since we left college, he lives 15 minutes away from me.. As if that matter I can’t talk to him about anything, it makes him to “upset” to hear my problems and vents. He doesn’t listen enough to care. Therefore I’m lonely with no one to talk to and no where to go, only four more months until I head back to the place suited to me best college.


Appreciation is such a big word, it has a big meaning as well. I realized today then I don’t appreciate the good things I have in life, I take everything at the negative but never a positive. I drive myself on being an open person and looking at both sides of the story before giving advice or choosing sides. I want to be a psychologist so I need to have that understanding and yet I can’t look at both sides when its my own problems. I realized after a small fight with my boyfriend I have to look at how he is thinking about things. He dropped a class me and him were to share today in its place he put a class for his major were he would have two other friends to help him in the class. At my first glance I saw him as being selfish but at a second glance I realized it was me who was being selfish. If I were in the same situation I would have done the same. I’m also complaining about how he never does anything for me but then i realize of course he does. I was sitting in my room yesterday with a friend and she asked me where I gotten this big stuffed dog, I’d told her it was a valentines present and she said I was lucky cause all she has ever gotten from her boyfriend is a small stuffed whale he won at a carnival. So the lesson of the day is to appreciate the small things in life because you never know how long they will last. 

First Post?

Since I doing this like a journal I might as well talk about myself sounds great right? Well anyway I’m keeping this blog 100% private, no one will know who I really am and not one of my friends or boyfriend will know it exists. I live in the state of PA in a small nothing town in the great USA! I have a lovely boyfriend who isn’t the normal boy he is anything but, well for the most part anyway. We have been dating for almost five months and when he decided to join a frat things got complex. We are working through it and although we don’t yet love each other we don’t plan on letting anything get in our way. Family… well my home life isn’t the best in the world I can’t complain to bad I guess. I have an annoying little sister I wish would disappear she is 13 and just at that age. My parents are still together unlike half the populations parents. My father means the world to me and my mother and I we just have problems. I can’t say this won’t be a boring post cause most likely it will be. I just want to be completely honest and that is what i will do.

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